Ode to Flare

Gawd I miss Flare. Everytime I browse through Shar's blog, Jel's blog, Am's blog, Ning's, Joon's and Ness's, I see photographs that I want to be in, and stories that I myself want to tell. The worse part is that I am not there to grow along with you guys, as dancers, as people, as we had for the past two and the half years. Over here, I have yet to find a bunch of people who are as dedicated as you guys. I still don't know anyone who would train and rehearse from 9am to 5 pm on their precious weekends, anyone who would let me experiment new moves and choreography on them, anyone who'd dance at a club and then suddenly break into a routine for our own pleausre, and anyone who'd perform what they were paid to perform at a party gig and then give another free performance just for kicks.

Over there, it felt like we performed as a team and live as a family. Over here, I feel as if though I am constantly doing a solo. And as much as I like to do solos, a solo without a team to cheer me on is just different.

When I think about it, I was truly born again in the Frank Tate Dance Studio. I became someone that I have always wanted to be, but never knew. And from there I grew: from Me Against the Music to Crunk'd, from Hard to Get to Pon De Replay, from Popping to Street Jazz to Milking. From talented to trained (although not trained enough). Without Flare, the dancer within me might have gone through a miscarriage. Jane Khoo, miss founder, you may have been a tad irritating at times, and we may bitched about you behind your back, but you deserve a huge thanks from us for starting this whole ensemble. Without it, we might have smoked pot or taken valium to get high. But now, we get high through the drug of dance.

However, as much as I love my home, our birthplace can only allow us to spread out wings that far. We need to go elsewhere for a greater span, and boy is it tough to fly further. I often forget that I am not as popular here as I was back there. Apparently I packed a suitcase of pride when I came back here, which made me forget that I need to start from scratch and build my reputation from the bottom onwards. I realize that I have to go through the whole free-gig self-marketing process that we went through a year ago.

As slow as it takes, I will get to the top someday in the near future. And whether I choreograph for Too Phat or Jolin Tsai or Chris Brown, I will always remember where it all started... Flare Dance Ensemble.